Just another day in paradise

There is this place called paradise, it is the life that I live in daily, now true, it is not always the place I love to be, but it's where I am, so I might as well enjoy it, right? I love how no matter how far you try to stay away from drama it keeps finding you, some people are loser men magnets, I am a family drama magnet! Maybe one of these days, i'll learn to quit answering my phone, if it's important enough, they'll leave a message. Then of course if I don't like what they say, i've got to call back and put in my 2 cents, maybe that's why I get stuck in the drama, because I can't let it go, I am envious of people that can do that. But when I see something that is wrong and get called out on it, yea, I'll speak my mind, and if you don't want to know my opinion, don't ask, and don't provoke me. Why do people not get that? especially when you are wearing me patience thin! I had a phone conversation with a few people that took a not so good turn and what happened? People got hurt, if some people would keep their nose out of other's business that never would have happened. It's crazy, I want to have a wonderful birthday party for my daughter and let the day be all about her, why can't everyone else do that? If they supposedly love her, let her have her day, drama free. I have this one sister who is great, I don't know what I would do without her. She keeps me grounded and gives me her opinion and advice and keeps me sane in a world of crazies! I tell ya, i'm very lucky to have her! In all that happened with the phone crap all I was worried about was what she would think. Now I've talked to her and it's like, I'm good, i'm not going to let it bother me! She's my Dali Lama or whatever. She's my calm & reason! I know it sounds dumb, but it's true. And it's funny how close we are, and we hardly get to see each other, but you wouldn't know it. We have a lot of the same values and I respect her as a person and most importantly as a Mother. There are only a few women in my life that I try to keep my mothering skills like, and she's one of them and she always has been. I believe it's because she had a good Mother. So hopefully I can be the kind of Mom my Mom was to me and Jen is to her kids, so that one day, Abby will grow up to be a great Mother too. Marcie is another person I think a lot of and that has a good influence on mine & Abby's life, she is a super grandmother & step mom. She loves Abby so much and I hate that my Mom is not here to be with Abby, but she would be glad that Abby does have a Grandma down here with her and while she is watching over her in heaven. I was crying the other night and Abby said, "Mommy what wrong?" I said, "well baby, you know how sometimes you miss me when I'm not with you, well, sometimes I miss my Mommy when she's not with me, and now is one of those times," she said, "can't she come to see you" I said, "Baby I wish she could, but she's got to stay in Heaven and help Jesus," so she hugged me and said, "I love you Mommy" she never questioned why, she just accepted it. Kids are so smart sometimes, they have such a good intuition. Sometimes I'll be thinking of Mama and missing her terribly and out of the blue Abby will come up and hug me and say, "I love you" I swear I wonder if sometimes Mama isn't sending her over to do that. Ok, so maybe it sounds crazy, but I get through it thinking things like that. And I know my Mama and if there was any way she could get to us kids, especially when we were hurting she would, even if she had to have a little help from her grandbabies.
I can't believe it's only a few short days until my baby's 4th bday. Time has surely flown by. Take care & I'll be back soon.