It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas

So it's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas to me, the fun the excitement and the stress! the stress of not much money a ton of people to buy for and the whole trying to figure out where to go and when thing! Sometimes' it's just too much to think about! In what should be a happy fun filled time, it turns into a stress fest, well for me any way. Worrying about trying to get everyone something and then worrying if they will like it or not and when I can get it to them! Then it just takes all the fun out of it! I wish I had a ton of money to buy stuff for everyone, but I don't. I wish Christmas was a week long celebration, but it's not. So i'm going to do the best I can this year and everyone will just have to understand. I want to get to everyone's house and spend time with them and not feel rushed. I would love to have a peaceful relaxing Christmas with all my family, man that would be nice. I d0n't mind going house to house, I just wish I had time to see everyone on Christmas Eve & Christmas Day, but I just can't. I hate the whole scheduling thing. It's a problem for me every year. This year, I'm going to try to enjoy it more and worry less. It's going to be hard especially when I think of all the money I will spend and could be possibly losing my job (with the whole state budget thing going on). So I won't know for sure until after Christmas, when I've already spent the money. So what do you do?? I'm going to try to get everyone something, it really should be the thought that counts right??? So if they don't get what they want and it doesn't cost as much as they'd like too bad, i'm kinda broke! I really thought of making some presents, but I don't know if I'll even have the time to do that. I know I'm making one, if I get the time to just sit down and do it!

Another thing that's bothering me is that I hate my hair! I'm ready for a change, I want to change the color the cut the everything! I want to change my weight too! Maybe it's me feeling a little older now (since I turned 28) but I just know I need a change! I need to lose weight, start having more me time and not feel guilty about it and change my hair and my clothes! I need some change and it's coming! I'm just going to make up my mind and do it and see what happens! Of course sometimes I get so impatient I make quick decisions and regret them, like chopping off my hair, but oh well it's just hair right? So I'm going to get it cut in the morning, maybe colored depends on money and time! So we'll see. I'm just ready! Guess that's it for now.