What to do, what to do???

I've been thinking about a lot of stuff lately, like money, jobs and babies. First, i'd really like a new job, one where I get to do something I like, as in writing or photography, or one where I feel involved. I've worked at the same place for 8 years now and while the pay and the benefits are good, I just don't feel it, ya know? I'm basically a glorified secretary, even though I have worked my way up the ladder from secretary to admin sec, to admin assist to admin. services assistant 2. I have my own stuff to do, like invoices and personnel stuff, but I also have to do some crap work, that other people just don't want to do. There is nothing wrong with being a secretary, but that's not me, I don't want to be somebody's secretary all my life. Here's the thing, I feel like I have potential, but no get up and go, mainly because I have a family and bills that have to get taken care of and if I run after my dreams, I'll end up broke and not be able to contribute to my family. I would love to be able to go back to college and get my degree in something, but I think I'm too old now and I think I have ADD in the classroom, because I had an all day class yesterday for work and I never thought I'd get through it!!! I was getting done before anybody else, and texting and writing notes, it was so boring! Anyway, I'm just not motivated and I'm such a procrastinator, I want to be a little different, but I think I'm too old to change now! ha, or maybe inside I really don't want to change.
Anyway I went on a job interview for the elementary school in our town a few months ago and didn't think much else about it until I found out the other day that the lady had called and checked all 3 of my references, so does that mean she's interested in me?? And if so, if she calls me and offers me the job, what should I say? I mean it's in town, so that saves A LOT on gas! (you would not believe how much a month I'm spending on gas!!!) anyway, but it's a huge cut in pay, we are talking $15,000 cut in pay! Holy Crap! that's a lot! But the benefit would be that I would be home by 3:30 everyday (3 hours earlier than I get home now), I would be able to leave the house at 7:25 (2 hours later than I do now), I would get to spend the summers with Abby, although we would probably be stuck in the house because we would be broke. I mean there are benefits, but there are draw backs too! I would have no benefits, so Scott would have to carry the insurance, which is double what I have to pay a month. We would have to find someone to watch Abby 3 days a week, if she didn't get in preschool, because Scott wouldn't be able to pay daycare & insurance!
Then that brings us to the baby thing. I really want to have another baby most days, but we don't have the money, especially according to Scott, and I know he's right, but I keep thinking, we'll make it some how, as pessimistic as I am, I can be just as optimistic, when I want to be. But I'm like if we can't afford it now, we really won't be able to afford it, if I take this other job (IF I get offered it), which is just an office assistant, so it's not doing what I want to do either, but at least it will be a change and i'll be dealing with kids some, which could be a bad or good thing, I will be close to home, and Abby will start school next yeat (sniffle) and if I got the job, I wouldn't have to worry about anyone watching her because I could take her and pick her up at school, since I'd be going there too. And I feel like I haven't gotten to be involved in her daycare much since she's been where she is now, because I never see the teachers, they are not there when I drop her off at 6:00 am, and when I pick her up at almost 6:00 pm, they are already gone. I don't want it to be like that when she's in school. I want to be involved and be able to be there and help out. I just don't know what to do. I mean, I know I still have time to have kids, but I want my kids to grow up together and have a close relationship, I mean me and Megan were 9 years apart, and I always felt like I had to take care of her, I had to help Mom with her, so I was more like a little Mama (that's what Mom use to say) than I was her sister. I look at the relationship I have with Jen, and I want Abby to have that. I want her to have somebody else to grow up with and have family memories with and somebody to be bonded to, if something were to happen to me & Scott, I don't want her to be alone. I was an only child for 9 years and I hated it. And now that I've lost Mama, and on the good days where Megan and I can get along, we've enjoyed being able to talk about living with Mama and the traits we have like here and things like that. But I also want another baby, because I feel like I'm not complete, that may sound stupid, but it's like there's something missing, and I think it's another baby in my life. When I'm around other peoples kids mainly babies and children under 1, I just want to hold them and play with them, and I miss having that in my life, maybe it's just me missing Abby as a baby, but I don't think so, I just want to experience that again in my life, holding that little baby in my arm and taking care of it and having my big baby (Abby) there in my other arm. But then I think about all the late night feedings and stuff like that and the sickness and it scares me, because I had Mama to help me when we went through that with Abby. What if I can't do it by myself? So I start worrying about that and then think well maybe Abby was my only chance and I should be happy I have a wonderful and healthy little girl. Then other days I think I'm going to pray about all of it and leave it up to God. He's the one that makes the decisions anyway. So who knows, certainly not me. Any Advice???